Although I didn't have any major emotional ups and downs this month, Mother's Day of course is a tough day for most child-less women who long to be mommies (myself included). Every holiday for the past couple of years I tell Lee, "This could be the last _______ we celebrate as a family of two!!" (Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, etc.) or "Next year we could be celebrating ________ (Mother's Day/Father's Day) with our own child! Unfortunately, we are now to a point that when I say that, I realize I've said that the past two Christmases, or whatever holiday we may be celebrating, and that is sad for us. Whenever Lee and I got married, we were thinking we would enjoy marriage just the two of us for about two years. We figured this would give us time to move home (we were living in Kansas when we got married), buy a house, me find a job in Evansville, etc. and then start a family. We both thought that was a great plan, but I teased Lee and told him I wanted to be a mom by the time I was 25. I was 23 when we got married, so that gave us plenty of time to get pregnant after our second anniversary. We actually ended up changing our minds, and we started trying to get pregnant about 16 months into marriage. As many of you know, my 25th year has come and gone, and this month I turned 26. Of course it is disappointing that we still do not have children, but we know that God has a plan for us, and although it may not mesh up with the plan we had for ourselves, we try to remember that God will bless us with a child at the perfect time.
So instead of dwelling on the holidays we are celebrating without children, I'm going to try really hard to make a point to celebrate the people we do have in our lives the next holiday. This Mother's Day, I was especially thankful for a few really great girlfriends and family members who made me feel extra special. One sweet friend sent me a cookie bouquet and reminded me she was thinking of me and praying for me over the weekend. Another couple of girlfriends sent me a texts and Facebook messages letting me know they were thinking of me on Mother's Day and saying an extra prayer for Lee and I. My brother made sure to tell me Happy Mother's Day and thank me for always "mothering" him over the years. This could be a really nice way of him saying "thanks for being so bossy and trying your best to make me behave over the years...", but either way, I'll take it! (haha just kidding, of course. I know he was sincere with his words, I just love teasing him), and last but not least my sweet mother-in-law gave me a card reminding me that although the journey is taking longer than I'd like, we have the faith to make it through. God used all of these people to remind me that I have SO MUCH to be thankful for, and I am really trying to remember that when I start to feel down.